Old age – it creeps up on us like a thief in the night and tries to steal all the zest and ambition from us that we had when we were young. It is a youth-gobbling monster that is relentless and holds no prejudice. It doesn’t care if you were once a track star or if you won the International Ironman competition. Old age will try to pull you down and suck the air out of you like a ten-day old, party balloon.
But you don’t have to let it do that to you.
By learning a few age retention skills, we can convince ourselves that we are still young. It’s not very hard to do, it only takes a bit of practice and will soon have you convinced that age is only something that defeats you if your mind surrenders to its will.
Some people may call that absurd, but that’s only the people who have not realized that the mind is very capable of controlling the body, or at least convincing it that its best days are not over.
Age is just a number, right?
Without going into all that nonsense like eating well, exercising, regular healthcare checkups and quitting soda, there are more important things to consider. These are the things that will instantly convince you and everyone else that you are not the old, wrinkled-up, has-been you appear to be to the rest of the world.
5 Tips For Convincing Yourself (And Others) That You Are Still Young
1. Don’t Listen To People Who Tell You To Act Your Age. So what if you are 55 years-old and want to go skydiving. Are only young people allowed to jump out of planes? Does only the young have the monopoly on daringness and adventure? If you feel the desire to fly through the air at 12,000 feet go right ahead. There is no difference. If your parachute fails you will hit the same, hard ground and splatter the same way as a young person will.
2. Stop Listening To Your Doctors When They Tell You To Slow Down. Some doctors get jealous and upset when they see a patient who is aging, but seems to have a very social and active life. That’s because their profession tells them that they have to find something wrong with you. If your doctor insists on sending you for endless medical tests even though you feel fine, ignore them and go surfing instead.
3. Stop Looking In The Newspaper Every day For Senior Citizen Discounts. Although the number on your driver’s license or AARP card qualifies you for lots of money-saving opportunities, seeking them out only corrupts the strategy of age-retention skills. If people think you are trying to take advantage of your old age, they will most likely treat you like the old bat that you are. Avoid them like the plague.
4. Stay Away From Community Bingo Halls. A Bingo hall has a great. big sign on it that says, “Lots Of Old People Are In Here!” Once your car is seen parked outside a Bingo hall your status of still being a “hip” member of society is quickly over. A Bingo receipt in your car though may give you some wiggle room when you get pulled over by a cop. Just be sure to accidentally include it when you hand the cop your driver’s license.
5. Don’t Answer When A Young Kid Pulls Alongside Your Car And Addresses You As “Sir.” “Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to…?” This is the ultimate test of whether you have accepted the fact that you are not young anymore. Who cares if they get lost? If you do answer, give them directions to the hottest, nightclub in town. They may get angry with you when they get there, but at least you will have them thinking that you are some sort of swinging, hipster.
I could go on and on with silly and dumb ways to convince yourself and others that you are still young. Of course, eating healthy, exercising, and listening to your doctor (sometimes) are the most important steps to retaining lots of that youthfulness we want so much.
Thinking young, however, has its advantages. When the mind tells the body it’s not quitting, it becomes a lot harder for the body to quit itself.
Written for the Daily Prompt: Age-Old Questions
Joseph E. Rathjen is a freelance writer and an Opinion Writer at 1World Online – America’s Fastest Growing Research Engine.