For The Daily Post: I Can’t Stay Mad At You
Resentments, we all have them, and they are one of the most damaging of all our character defects. Next to shortcomings, resentments are responsible for keeping us bound in a lifetime of anger, hate or jealousy. Only when we release them can we live a happy life. Only when we eradicate them can we live in peace with ourselves and the rest of the world.
A deep, rooted resentment is like a grudge match being fought inside ourselves that has no end in sight. It grows and festers itself to no end, and suffocates our daily existence. It gnaws, prods, and consumes us piece by piece, hour by hour, and grows stronger with each passing day.
A resentment is also like an illness for which seems there is no cure. Only when we take the necessary steps to remove the resentment can we allow ourselves to grow.
Do you have a resentment like this? Do you have a deep hate for someone? Do you think about them on a daily basis? Has someone or something put a hold on your life because the memory of them or something they did to you swallowed you up and will not let go?
If your answer was YES to even one of those questions, then you are not alone. Most of us live every day with resentments. Some of them are minor, some of them are a powerful and destructive force in our lives.
“I will never forget how my husband cheated on me with my sister!”
“I will never forget how my brother stole my girlfriend away from me!”
“I will never forget how my best friend stole an article I wrote and won the Pulitzer Prize!”
Do these statements sound like something you would say, or have in the past?
Forgiveness goes hand in hand with losing resentments. If you cannot learn to forgive someone who has done you harm then you can never lose the resentment you have for them.
Someone once said to me, “A resentment is like a ten-ounce, bowling ball being dragged around by you everywhere you go. At first it seems light, but then it soon starts to feel heavier and the alley that it travels down gets longer by the second.”
The best way to deal with and LOSE a resentment – is to LET IT GO!
Sometimes doing so may be hard depending on what the resentment is about. Nevertheless, you have to ask yourself the question: “Is this resentment being productive for me? Is it helping me to get ahead in life? Is it holding me back from being happy?
If a friend or someone you love says to you, “I’m sick and tired of hearing you talk about that,” it is a good indication that you are harboring a damaging resentment and need to let it go.
Life is too short – do not let your happiness and the love and friendship of others be held back by the pain given to you by someone long ago.
Joseph E. Rathjen is a freelance writer and an Opinion Writer at 1World Online – America’s Fastest Growing Social Research Engine.