couples arguing

Daily Prompt: Truth or Dare

Is it possible to be too honest, or is honesty always the best policy?

That depends on the situation. For example, if you are married, is it a good idea to be honest with your spouse and tell them the following?

1.” You’re Getting Fat!” Most married couples will tell you this is not the most desirable and honest thing to tell your spouse. It can have detrimental effects on your sex life – for quite a long time.

2. “You’re A Bitch Just Like Your Mother!” Definitely not the way to prevent an army from forming against you. Conquer and divide is a better policy to keep your marriage intact and keep the in-laws at bay.

3. “My Ex-Husband Was Better In Bed Than You Are!” This will surely ruin your marriage quicker than the fat comment. The “Don’t Toot Your Horn” comment is better left in the movies.

4.” I Only Married You Because I Felt Sorry For You!” This is equal to telling your spouse that you consider them nothing more than that of a stray, puppy dog found outside needing a home. It’s also one that could provoke domestic violence.

5. “You’re Nothing But A Sperm Donor!” This could be true in many instances but it’s a very tacky and vile thing to say to your husband. It could also give him ideas on how to make a few bucks on the side and keep a secret stash of cash from you.

6. “Your Sister Was Looking Pretty Hot last Night!” Not what the other sister wants to hear…you know…the one that is married to you? Definitely reveals who you were noticing the most last night at her mother’s house.

7. “Was It Good For You Last Night?” The answer will inevitably and most likely be a very loud and resounding YES. Don’t believe it. If he or she wants to watch the same TV show before having sex with you every night there is a specific reason.

8. “Honey, What’s The Best Thing You Love About Me?” Be very careful here. Some questions – no matter how much you trust your spouse – are designed to trick and reveal your true feelings. Force them to be more specific. Guessing what they are looking for in an answer will turn you into a sucker for entrapment. This is an honesty trap question.

9.” What Day Is Your Birthday?” This is a marriage killer and one that can have long-lasting effects. If you can’t remember their birthday or your anniversary date what else have you forgotten? It’s best not to admit that you forgot…even in the form of a question.

10. “Honey, I Need To Be Honest With You About Something.” Mistake. In many instances, honesty is not always the best policy. Telling her or him that you just had an affair but broke it off will not get you off the hook. It may be good for easing your conscience but it does nothing for the future of your marriage or their trust.

The point these examples are trying to make is that honesty is not always the best policy – especially in a marriage. Being honest or truthful (and there is a difference) defines the boundaries of how far tolerance is maintained. When you are being truthful, you are sticking to the facts. When you are being honest, you are being honorable in principles, intentions and actions. So, you need to weigh the consequences of how you answer a question and if that answer will be beneficial or harmful to your marriage.

For instance:

Wife: “Honey, do these jeans make me look fat?”

Husband: “No, they don’t make you look fat.”

The husband is being truthful because it’s not the jeans that make her look fat. But he’s not being honest because he never told her that they don’t fit because she is fat.

Tread carefully…

Here are some of my blogger friends thoughts on this topic:

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

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27 thoughts on “Ten Ways Honesty Can Sink A Marriage!

  1. Now after being married for 4 years, having two beautiful children I can agree on some of these things being bad for SOME. I come from a different background though, so these things don’t bother my marriage and this is why.

    I’ve been lied to… A LOT. I expect honesty. If I look fat in a pair of pants, I want to know. If it’s because they don’t fit, I want to know. I don’t want to look like a bag of crap out in public. It’s not to start an argument, it’s to save me embarrassment. After I proved this to my husband, he has no problem telling me which jeans I need to save for a skinner date.

    I also don’t ask those entrapment questions, because I don’t like being trapped or guilt tripped. I hate saying something and meaning something else… you know ‘i’m fine.’ when I really am not fine. It’s horrible to do to someone. Mind games are no fun for anyone.

    If you tell me I’m a bitch like my mother, I’ll more than likely agree with you… My mom doesn’t take nothin’ from nobody. I’m afraid of my 5’2″ mother. I’m 5’9″

    But, you are absolutely right for the majority of the world. I agree and I am following you because you kept me interested throughout the post. 🙂

    http://www.onesahmscrazylife.wordpress.com Hope I can do the same.

    • Hi a.reed, and thanks for stopping by. I was married for 28-years so I could go on and on about all the questions and the lies that go on in a marriage. I agree that being honest with your spouse is the best policy in most circumstances. Your husband is a lucky man to have a wife that will accept his opinions as honesty and advice instead of having one who views it as criticism. I wrote this post as a goof and to make people laugh, but obviously, lots of people will find a lot of truth in what it portrays. If so that’s a good thing.

      I like your blog! Carry on!

      • Thank you for the compliment. I just treat people as the way I would want to be treated. The basic concept that I’m now trying to teach my children. That, and to live life the very best way you can, until you learn how to do so better.

  2. Pingback: You Can Take Your Bucket List And Shove It | The Jittery Goat

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  4. What a great post. I love that you’ve differentiated between honesty and truthfullness – Something I’ve always suspected but never been able to put into words. Yes, creative phrasing is very helpful in a marriage relationship. Thankfully my husband seems to have the knack.

  5. Pingback: TMI | Edward Hotspur

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  7. I won’t give any advice, it just works for us after 46 years. His computer is full of jazz-bebop music and mine blogs. I had to work on our wedding anniversary date, but after the first 10 years of marriage he got it.

  8. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Truth or Dare | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  9. Pingback: A Poetic Duet With A Shade Of Pen – “The Burden Of Truth” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  10. Haha .. Funny yet a very true opinion.
    Although i am not married but I do notice these lil things in everyday life and relationships.
    Even with your teachers and friends a little bit flattering is always appreciated.
    The thing is that when in schools we were taught about being honest we should also be taught about bearing and hearing the truthful opinions.

    • I was married for 28-years. It amazed me how she was always trying to change something about me, but when I told her something about her I didn’t like she would revolt. I would love it if someone pointed out something to me about my appearance that they felt was bad. But nobody ever does…ha!

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  13. How about “Have you noticed that pretty girls like your best friend go around with plain girls ?” That was my father , not my husband who used to tell our kids that I had a lethal weapon ; my tongue. He would rarely argue with me and we were married for 44 years . He also used to say ” Margaret has never had a car accident but if she had looked in the mirror she would have seen loads. I miss him.

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